Decisions
by TempeJill
Summary: A sixteen year old Parker looks back on what was lost so long ago. Major character death.


**It seems like half my stories are sad ones, doesn't it? I hope you all like this one. I don't own Bones. :(**

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A lone figure stood amid the rows of worn stone. His blonde hair, once curly, was cut short and neat. He was tall and well-built, with respectable muscles. His soft brown eyes and gentle features plus what his dad had informed him was his 'charm smile' got him plenty of attention at school.

Sixteen. He'd just gotten his license... just gotten used to the great idea of heading out on his own, of becoming somebody and gaining further respect among people like those that his father worked for. He'd considered joining the army several times, but each time rethought and reconsidered his options.

In his heart, and in the classroom, he'd always been tied more so to the things that could be understood through science, the things that made sense and didn't have a thing to do with all those pointless things his math teachers were always pressing on him.

Maybe that was why he was here, in this place, instead of at the movies or hanging out down at the football field with his friends. Maybe he was looking for answers... but he wasn't really sure. He'd simply come to the one place that he'd always had, somewhere in the back of his mind, as a place that was forbidden to ask for a ride to. He'd only been once before... and yet he remembered very clearly that this was the location.

It had taken him some time, though, to walk up and down the rows, to search for a name that he didn't even really know. It was unfamiliar to him, especially carved into the stone when not once had he seen it written and understood the words before, and yet he could hear the name echo in his mind and knew that he had indeed found the right one.

He had stared at the stone for a long time before he'd been able to form any thoughts. His mind had been filled with thoughts and wonderings. To this day he did not truly know what had occurred, why something like this had happened, and no one was going to explain it to him either. Not willingly.

He remembered, with fondness, those visits as a small child to the museum, the _backstage_ of the museum, he had bragged to his friends, since he was the only one he knew who had been to the lab tucked in the back, inaccessible to any regular visitors.

As he stared at the name he tried to picture the face, tried to match the images of the faded memories with the words in his mind, with the sound of her name coming warmly off his father's tongue. The way he'd always said it was unlike the way his dad said anything else. It had always confused him, always made him wonder at why his dad spent so much time with her, looked at her the way he'd sometimes seen him look at his girlfriends... and yet they never kissed that he could recall. He smiled softly as he thought of himself at that age, probably thinking 'ew!' at the idea of that. Now... he almost wished he had seen them like that.

Because his dad hadn't been that happy, hadn't had that light in his eyes the way he had when he was with the two of them together, since... well since whatever had happened. Since she'd been lost to him.

He sighed, trying to imagine just how much he didn't know, didn't understand. He'd barely known her, that much was very obvious. But he'd always looked at her in amazement, had always seen her as someone to look up to for... well, whatever it was she had done there. Forensic Anthropology, he thought with a nod, remembering the term coming up in class, and how it had struck him in a different way then it had the students around him. The way it had brought things from his past rushing up, and made him wish that the world hadn't turned out the way it had for him, but mostly for his dad.

It wasn't hard to recall the childhood wish that he'd always had, that maybe someday his parents would get back together and he'd have a real family with no more... what was it? Yes, 'Captain Fantastics' getting in the way. He also recalled with growing clarity the feeling that she hadn't been at all someone like his dad's girlfriends, or his mom's boyfriends. He shook his head sadly as he remembered thinking that he wished she and his dad were together, and that maybe he'd get to spend time with them as a family and with his real mom too. Being so young... he'd never realized that things wouldn't be that way. That there were things in the way. And besides, it had all been taken before it could even be tested.

_"Are we going to the museum?" he asked eagerly._

_He watched, frowning suddenly in his childlike confusion as his dad's face got those lines of stress on them again... the lines that had been there an awful lot in the past few days. His dad had been crying last night too. That had scared him, and his dad had refused to explain why he was so upset. He'd just tucked him back in his bed and then kissed his head, sighed sadly, and left the room once more. _

_"Yeah, we're going to the museum," his dad murmured._

_He quickly forgot his confusion and his worries as the idea of seeing all the cool science equipment and getting all that attention from daddy's 'squints' caused his burst of excitement to wash away all else. He bounced up and down in his seat as they pulled into the underground parking garage. _

_His dad was looking very sad again, but he didn't question it much as he was helped out of his booster seat and then allowed to run ahead to the doors. They went in together, and at once the atmosphere of the place he always found wonder and magic in got to him, and even being an excitable child could not prevent him from noticing that something was out of place. He looked around, suddenly feeling small and lost, as he realized that the place was not bustling with the energy it usually was, and the big machine's weren't even running._

_None of his dad's friends were in sight, either. _

_"Where is everyone?" he asked, turning to look up at his dad._

_"Listen, Park," he said, bending down. He felt fear start to build up inside him. Something was wrong. His dad never looked like this, or bent down and talked to him like this, unless it was serious. Unless he really wasn't going to like what he was about to hear. "Do you remember... when your fishy went to heaven?" He nodded, feeling more confused. Why did his dad mention his fish? That had been a year ago, maybe more; he wasn't really sure. "Well, I told you about heaven, and about dying. Sometimes... fishies don't live as long as they should, even though your fishy got to grow old and have a nice full life with you. I told you people... and all animals, they die too. But sometimes they die before their time. Sometimes... there are things that happen." He felt more scared, even though he understood everything his dad was saying, when he saw the tears in his father's eyes again. _

_"Daddy, why are you crying?" he asked._

_"Parker, one of daddy's friends went to heaven," his dad whispered. "And I'm very sad about that. We cry when we're sad, don't we bud?" He nodded again, remembering how sad he was when his fish died. He still felt confused though, and a bit lost. What did dad mean, one of his friends went to heaven? Had one of the people he knew left? Were they _dead?

_He saw some faces he recognized then, approaching them, all with the same sad expressions. He scanned them, and then felt confused. _

_"Dad?" he asked, "Dad, where's Dr. Bones?"_

_He suddenly felt like he'd done something wrong as his dad gave a sob and more tears poured down his face. He didn't know what to do; he'd never seen his dad like this._

_"Dr. Bones went to heaven," he whispered to his son. "She's happy there. She's happy there..." he repeated, and then he stood up and the tall woman... Angela, he remembered, put her arms around him. He was relieved that someone was comforting his dad._

_Cam, the other woman who he remembered, knelt down next to him. "I'm sorry Parker," she told him. "I know Dr. Bren- Dr. Bones- loved you very much."_

_He stared at her in shock, then looked at his dad, still trying to process what he'd been told. Did this mean that he wouldn't see Dr. Bones again, like he wouldn't see his fish? Heaven meant she wasn't coming back, didn't it?_

_A tear slid down his cheek. He didn't want to think about never seeing her again. He'd really liked Dr. Bones, and she'd been so nice to him. He remembered when he and his dad had gotten her a Christmas tree, and they'd gotten to surprise her with it. He'd loved how happy it had made her, the way that his dad had told him it would. _

_Would he ever see her again? A few more tears slid down his cheeks. Cam gave him a gentle hug, and then stood back up as his dad turned back to him and then gave him a hug as well. _

_"It's going to be okay, buddy," he told him. "Bones is in a happier place. We'll see her again, someday, I promise. She'll be waiting for us, and I'm sure she's looking down on us right now."_

_"I'm going to miss her!" Parker cried, burying his head in his dad's shirt. _

_"Me too, Park, me too."_

He sighed, pulling out of the memory and wiping at a tear that had managed to form in his eye. He looked again at the stone, and now he could picture her face clearly, remembering the way it had looked when she'd smiled at him and his dad through that window when they'd brought her the Christmas tree.

What might have been he'd never know, but one thing he did know for certain was that he still missed her, and from the pain in his dad's eyes whenever the museum was mentioned, or anything else that related to her, he knew he did too, and more than anyone else.

His dad had loved her, of that he was completely and totally positive. And losing her had torn him apart. He sometimes would catch him looking through the old photos he usually kept hidden under his bed.

He'd looked through them himself once, only a year or two ago, when his dad had been away for a few hours, and he'd been shocked by what he'd found. The faces from his childhood popped out at him, all of them smiling or laughing, and what he'd been taken away from, what he'd lost, became like a gaping hole. He hadn't seen Angela, or Cam, or the others, and this part hurt most, whose names he didn't even _know_. They'd been such a large part of his childhood, of what he'd wanted to become, and he'd never even memorized who they all were.

Almost all the pictures were of just his dad and her, though, and he could see the care between them. Some of the pictures were obviously taken without their knowledge... but were clearly treasured the most by his dad, seeing as they were the most carefully placed, all organized neatly and placed with care. The top picture, the one with the most importance, was of the two of them and of himself as well, and he immediately saw why it was so well-loved. They looked like a family, and they looked happier than anything.

He couldn't even remember the day it was taken, he realized sorrowfully, thinking back on when he'd first seen it. That was how far away from his father's true life, his father's true feelings, he had been.

But here, now, he had to focus on his reasoning for even coming here in the first place. He didn't know where his life was going from here. Military... it didn't seem like him at all, no matter how much he'd always wanted to follow in his father's footsteps. And the FBI... of course it sounded amazing and something he could be proud of, but he just couldn't picture himself there.

He could always pursue something totally different; he could take his sports abilities pro and make a life that way. Again, it didn't fit.

It always came back to the world he'd lived in as a small child. The one he hadn't understood, but had wanted to be a part of. He'd always enjoyed science, and looked up to the people his dad worked with just as highly as he did the other FBI agents.

"I think dad... I think he'd like that, even if he wouldn't really want to admit it," he said outloud, speaking to the stone. "If I followed you, rather than him... maybe it would help him to get some more closure, to help him remember you without trying to just fight off all the pain. You know, I really... I just wish you hadn't left at all. But... life isn't that simple is it? And... I guess I didn't even know you well enough to wish for that. I barely knew you at all. But I'd still wish it anyways. For my dad, and for all those people who _did_ know you. I know how much you meant to them, and especially my dad."

He looked away, sighing again.

"Strange to miss someone I barely even knew, and who I have to fight to even remember," he murmured, "But I still do." He shook his head, placed a hand on the gravestone for a moment, and then walked away, feeling lighter than he had in a while.

He'd made the choice, and it almost felt as if she'd helped, even if he'd only talked to himself, only reminisced about the past.

He was going to go into science, into the field that was rarely mentioned with his father around. And he had a feeling that he was going to make his dad proud.

And that he was going to make her proud, too.

Dr. Temperance Brennan, the gravestone read, and yet... to him she'd always just be the one thing he'd ever called her himself. Dr. Bones.

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**Thanks for reading; please let me know what you thought! It's possible that I may continue this, so let me know if you would like that or if I should leave it the way it is :)**


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